Out of Depression and Into Joy
In the Parable of the Talents, after the first two servants showed their master what they did with the talents he’d given them, the master said to them, “Well done, good and trustworthy servant… enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21&23).
This command struck me as a something that many people are desperately longing to hear. Because we live in a day where, oddly enough, the pursuit of happiness is not leading people into joy, but straight into the embrace of depression. Therefore, I’d like to offer some helpful recommendations for those who have been wanting to enter, but do not know the way into the joy of the master.
Why Pursuing Happiness Often Leads to Depression
First let’s take a look at why the pursuit of happiness leads many into depression.
Happiness is properly understood as an emotion; a person knows that they are happy based off of positive feelings that they are having in response to something. Like its siblings: anger, sadness, fear, etc, it’s a normal emotion to have. But unlike its siblings, since happiness gives us positive feelings it’s easy to want to experience it endlessly. Therefore we hear people say things like, “I just want to have a happy life.” But what that phrase ends up meaning is that they want the kind of life where things are regularly happening to them that give them the feeling of happiness.
This is a short explanation, but it begins to show how the pursuit of happiness can lead to the state of depression. Since happiness is dependent on outcomes it forces the person desiring it to focus on producing the outcomes they think will lead to the happy feelings.
For example, a person setting out to be happy may ask themself, “what made me happy in the past?” Upon reflection they might remember that watching an exciting series made them happy; therefore, they begin binge watching, and doing so habitually until there are no more shows, or it no longer delivers the feeling they seek. If you replace binge-watching with physical fitness, good looks, sex, alcohol, drugs, or anything else, you’ll discover that it’s all the same path, just different means of pursuit.
And what happens is that as one continues pursuing happiness through outcome management, they will begin to notice that, between the heights of happiness, they begin experiencing something that they will initially label as sadness. But it’s not sadness, because sadness, like happiness is an emotion that’s dependent on something. This new thing they’re experiencing doesn’t seem to be dependent on outcomes; rather, it seems like an unwelcome guest that accompanies you wherever you go. And with its presence it brings about abiding feelings of listlessness, despondency, despair, or constant ennui. This is not mere sadness; it’s depression.
Unlike happiness or sadness, depression is not primarily an emotion; it’s more like a state of being that causes emotions like sadness, boredom, etc. And, unfortunately, if a person thinks chasing happy feelings is the only way out of depression, they might actually exhaust themselves trying to find things that will make them happy and break them free from this state. But if pursuing happiness as the ultimate goal of life is what led one into a depressive state, the same pursuit will certainly not lead someone out of it. How could it? Instead they’ll just find themselves trapped in the cycle, trying to feel their way out and getting more depressed as they do so.
An Invitation to Joy
What’s the solution? As usual the answer to many of these problems comes, not directly from within our world but, from one who has come into it. (There are, of course, depressive states that will also require clinical treatment as well.)
Just listen to what Jesus said to his earliest disciples in John’s gospel. “These things I have spoken to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”
Fullness of joy is the complete opposite of depression. But the question is how? How can a person move from depression into the joy of Jesus? This brings us back to Jesus’ Parable of the Talents. This short parable has a lot to teach us about entering into the joy of the master. And in a typical preachers fashion I will deliver it to you in 3 points.
1. Our beliefs about God matter
The servant that ended up as the bad example had beliefs about his master that led him to be afraid. “Master,” he said, “I knew that you were a harsh man… so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground” (Matthew 25:24-25).
This shows us that we must think rightly about God, because our beliefs about God will inform our response to God. If we believe that God is the bully in the sky that is waiting for us to screw up so he can punish us, we will never venture out in faith.
As A.W. Tozer once said, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” I would modify that a little and say that what God thinks about us is the most important thing, but what we think about God will definitely inform our thoughts and behaviors, and that is pretty important.
Therefore, we must learn to think thoughts about God that are truthful revelations of his character. This means we must look to one who perfectly reveals the heart and character of God; namely, Jesus Christ. The same Jesus that said, “Whoever has seen Me, has seen the Father” (John 14:9).
When we see the God that Jesus revealed, our response will not motivate us to fear, but to have great and daring faith. The servants that pleased the master dared greatly, not in spite of their beliefs about their master, but because of their beliefs. Our beliefs also inform our behavior.
2. Happiness is about me, joy is about others
In the pursuit of happiness my feelings are of central importance. Even if I’m serving others, I will do so with an eye on how I feel. But to enter into the joy of the Lord, “I” must be replaced by “you.” In other words, serving others becomes more important than serving myself.
Again, the fearful servant was motivated by the fear of what might happen to him, not what might please his master. The faithful servants, on the other hand, set off immediately to put their masters talents to work because they knew this would please him. In other words, instead of trying to make themselves happy, they sought to make him happy.
Have you ever asked yourself this question: What can I do to make God happy today? Some readers may even be shocked to discover that God, like us, has emotions. He gets angry, sad, and happy! What can you do today to make him happy?
Hint: the answer to this question is also found in looking at Jesus who, as the Bible says, “didn’t come to be served, but to serve” (Matthew 20:28). What makes God happy is when his children live to serve others.
So, on the way into joy we must regularly ask this question of God, and others.
3. Joy is something that we enter
This last point is very important. While we have happiness, we don’t really have joy, not biblical joy at least. Biblical joy, the joy of the Lord, is something that has us, it is a reality (like depression) that envelopes us.
This is important because it helps us understand the powerful difference between joy and happiness. “Happiness” as Oswald Chambers wrote, depends on what happens; joy does not.” In the pursuit of happiness we spend much time managing outcomes, and making things happen that will make us feel a certain way. This is the stressful path of life that tires us out and eventually leads us into the state of depression.
Since joy is not dependent on what happens, the only way to experience it is by, get this, relaxing in it. Think of the person who has inherited a vast sum of money. For a while they may actually go out and buy things to feel rich, but they will never feel rich, they’ll only keep trying to feel rich. The fact of the matter is, they are rich. They don’t need to try, they actually need to stop trying and relax in their new reality of life. Joy is the same way.
If we would enter into the joy of the Lord, it will only be through a kind of relaxed surrender. This kind of relaxed surrender comes when one believes rightly about God (point 1) and seeks to please him (point 2). It gives them the assurance, and constant reassurance, that all is well and that all will be well. Not because you are in charge of the outcomes, but because God is.
In conclusion, the antidote to depression is not happiness, but joy. And we enter into the joy of the Lord, not by pursuing our own happiness, but by getting to know God, and pursuing his happiness. As we do so we are invited to enter into his joy, and relax in his provision for us.