A Theology on Bullying
Lately the word "bullying" has been popping up all over the news. Children who were the targets of bullies found their situation so deplorable that they decided to take their life. Commercials have been made, speeches have been given, all in an attempt to reverse the trend and end the bullying.
Recently bullying showed up in the last place anyone would think that it could ever exist - the National Football League. We have come to view the NFL as a league of modern day gladiators. To some, they are the closest thing to a real life Spartan that we will see in our day. As such, we look upon them as detached creatures who respond to everything the only way they know how - violently.
This week that all changed.
Jonathan Martin, a lineman for the Miami Dolphins, recently left his team after reportedly being fed up with the mistreatment he received from his teammates. One teammate in particular, Richie Incognito, is said to have sent Martin racist and inhumane text and voice messages, that contributed to Martin's abrupt departure.
Almost immediately people called Martin soft and suggested that he should handle it like a man (i.e. with violence). The very same people probably mourned the fact that another young person chose death over life in response to bullying or condemned the young person who chooses violence over peace as a solution to bullying. Should the kids "man up" too? Are they soft for telling, or weak for choosing suicide? Which is it?
It seems that our hypocrisy in regards to bullying betrays the fact that we do not understand why bullying is wrong in the first place.
I imagine that several people would suggest that it is wrong simply because it is not nice; they would be correct. Others would suggest that it is wrong because it creates an unsafe learning/work environment; that it does. All these reasons are valid, but they do not come close to the answer of why we should not bully.
The answer to that question lies in the question, "what is a person?" If we are going to understand this issue and provide solid solutions we will need to develop a working theological anthropology. In other words, we need to understand what a person is from the viewpoint of the one who created humans. Now immediately those who do not believe in God (or believe in an impassible deity) are in a conundrum, but that knot must be untangled at another time.
When someone bullies another person what they are essentially doing is communicating, through word or deed, that you are less than what God thinks of you. For the God who created humans views creation with love, and purpose, and desire. Humanity is the magnum opus, so to speak, of the Trinity. God values each and every human so much that he desires to be in relationship with every person. When God sees each of us he thinks, "you are worthy." Bullying is nothing more than saying, "No you are not." It is, therefore, an affront not only to the intended target, but to the one who created the oppressed person; moreover, it is a lie!
By treating a human as if they are less than human, whether it be through demeaning words, playful mistreatment that cuts to the psyche of a person, physical imposition, or simple disrespect, we are going against God's vision of what a human is; and when we go against God's vision, we go against God. Our duty as humans is to help others realize their potential in God, not the reverse.
Is there a place for playful kidding? Maybe, but only if the above stipulation (that humans are loved, valued, and precious in the sight of God) is accepted as being true. There is all the difference in a joke that comes from someone who loves you, and one coming from someone who despises you. For one wishes your eternal good, and the other could care less about you. One values your esteem, and the other views your esteem as a step ladder to elevate themselves.
This leads to the next point: the person with the most power in a bullying situation is not the bully, it is the onlooker.
In most cases bullying takes place in front of a third party. This third party is seen as valuable in the eyes of the bully because the bully is seeking the approval of the group (as unbelievable as it sounds this occurs amongst grown ups all the time). So the third party has the power to approve or disapprove and, effectively, dictate where the bullying goes from there.
This is a fantastic opportunity, especially for those of us who claim to be disciples of Jesus Christ. We are called to be enactors of justice in this world. Need I quote Martin Luther King Jr. who quoted Amos 5:24, "But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream."
That is our job description. Wherever injustice is found we, the apprentices of Jesus, are to call it out and seek to end it. Simply shaking your head and thinking, "someone ought to do something," is actually contributing to the bullying. You are the someone God put there to restore the belittled one to an understanding of who they are in God's eye; and you are also there to let the bully know that you see their actions for what it is and that you will not stand by silently.
This approach also accounts for the fact that the bully, also, is behaving in a manner that is less than what Got envisions for them. Leaving their recklessness unchecked is, in some ways, approving of their behavior. So speaking up is valuable to both oppressed and oppressor.
In some situations this type of boldness will make the onlooker the object of ridicule; but what better way to be like Jesus than to take the scorn that is being unjustly aimed at one person and taking it upon yourself? After all, isn't that what Jesus did for you?
Besides, who is better equipped to go through bullying than the one who trusts and believes God? The psalmist writes, "Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble. (Psalm 119:165)" Part of that "nothing" includes what other people say or do to you.
The disciple values the words and vision of God far above what some guy says. That persons words or opinion matters little in comparison to what the creator of the universe thinks. So we should take it upon ourselves to remind people of what God's word says about them (This, by the way, is where home discipling is important. Your children should hear God's word about them, in a reinforced manner, regularly.). Even if it means we will become the bullied ones.
Lastly, for those who are currently experiencing bullying. Do not bear it in silence. The notion of "manning-up" is rooted in pride. It suggests that you should be self-sufficient in all areas of your life. So tell someone who cares about you, and have someone stand with you. There is no shame in telling someone you are being bullied. That is true whether you are 6 or 65. If someone is constantly demeaning you as a person, suggesting to you that you are not what God says you are, please do not bear it silently.
It is often suggested that Jesus advocated for silent suffering, or passive holiness, when he said, "But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matt. 5:39)" But notice what Jesus did when he was struck on the face.
John 18:23 "Jesus answered him, 'If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong; but if what I said is right, why do you strike me?'"
He confronts the man about the injustice. The man's actions were rooted in untruth and Jesus calls him out on it. Did it end Jesus' suffering? No, it was only beginning. But it left a pattern for us to follow. It reminds us that we are people of justice, truth, and the proper treatment of humans (including ourselves). And it reminds us that bullying, in whatever form it appears, must be called out for what it is and dealt with.
This blog post is, by no means, complete. There are certainly more learned voices and pens that must add to it and correct it where I erred. But what cannot happen is the temporal outrage that we have become so skilled at as a nation. Remembering that we are people created by a loving God, we must not sit idly by and let this nonsense continue.