Carmex: Advice for Cheap Addicts

Friends, if you are like me there are 3 things you never leave home without.

1. Your wallet. 

2. Your cell phone.

3. Your carmex.

I am an unashamed carmex abuser. I am so addicted that I carry a tube in my pocket, I keep a spare in my messenger bag, and in my desk, and in my drawer by the bed, and in the glove compartment in my car. I will never be caught with ashy lips (or the ashy parts between your fingers when you didn't use lotion properly).

Anyway, I have a question for you. When is the right time to throw away a tube of carmex? A dumb question for some of you, but I take this seriously. Every day thousands of Americans discard their carmex into the trash because they think it is empty. 

                                 

I am not one of those wasteful people!

I have had one particular tube of carmex for 3.5 years, and by many people's standards it has been empty for 2.5 of those years. Here is the deal, your carmex is not empty until you filet it open and scrape every last semblance of it from within the tube. And I don't mean wiping your fingers across it, I mean scraping (you'll need finger nails to accomplish this). Once you have done that then, and only then, you may discard the carmex.

I would now like to apologize for wasting 60 seconds of your life if you could care less about this topic. But for my fellow addicts, you are welcome. May your lips be forever moisturized, may you look with suspicion when someone asks you if they can use your "chap stick," may you discard only the plastic portion of the tube, and may you never again experience the panic that comes with being out in public without the safe feeling of a carmex tube in your pocket.