I Told Me So by Gregg A. Ten Elshof

I Told Me So is my first intentional focused look into the subject of self-deception. Honestly, the only reason I read it was because I am a huge Dallas Willard fan, and I noticed that he wrote the foreword. Having read it, I must say that I am intrigued by the subject, and a bit shocked that it is not dealt with by more authors. 

Ten Elshof, though a philosopher, writes in a manner that is easy to understand, and he uses concrete examples to explain what might be difficult for some. One example of this is when he deals with R.D. Laing's "Happy Family Game." Instead of making a non-philosophy student work it out on their own, he gives an illustration of how this works in his own community. So what might have been difficult to grasp is instantly made simple. Also, his explanation of the positives of self-deception are very helpful. Please read the book. I am glad I did. I am also going on to read other works that Gregg recommends on the subject.

Below are a few nuggets from the book.

"We are self-deceived," says Ten Elshof, "whenever we manage our own beliefs for the sake of some goal other than the truth." This pops up in many ways and through various methods that we employ.

1. Attention management. Paying attention to the claims that agree with our perception of truth, while ignoring the rest.
2. Procrastination. Convincing ourself that we will do something later, when in reality we have no intention of doing it at all. Ex: I am going to run tonight instead of doing it right now.
3. Perspective switching. Using another's perspective when it helps justify why we are doing what we are doing, and ignoring the perspective that shines a light squarely on what is actually happening.
4. Rationalization. Justifying our behavior with any reason possible, even if they do not truly apply to the situation at hand.
5. Ressentiment: "We scorn what we cannot have because we cannot have it—even if, were it available to us, we would find it immensely attractive." AKA "sour grapes."

The above list are ways in which we (individually) "take the deal" life offers us, and fall into self-deception. But this list is not inherently bad. He points out that the capacity to be self-deceived can actually be beneficial for us. So the list below:

1. Attention management: Without the ability to focus on one thing we would never be able to accomplish meaningful tasks.
2. Procrastination: He uses the example of when to tell a friend something difficult. Sharing bad news when a friend is already in grief may not be wise, so we procrastinate. This is wisdom.
3. Perspective Switching: The ability to see something through another's perspective enables understanding and even forgiveness.

Even self-deception isn't inherently bad. For it keeps us from being confronted with truths that, if received before we are ready, would destroy us.

This book has given me a lot to think about. Check it out, it will probably do the same for you.