Clothed With the Spirit

Over the last few months I have been desiring to be filled with the Holy Spirit. When I tell people this they quickly try to assure me that I already am. They are probably trying to protect my dignity as a pastor; after all, what kind of pastor walks around claiming to not be Spirit-filled? Well, this kind. I'm only speaking about my personal experience.I know the Spirit is in me, for a person cannot be saved except by the presence of the Spirit. I have personal assurance of my salvation, including the forgiveness of my sins. However, I know that I lack the power and grace that comes only through the overwhelming presence of the Spirit. This is what I desire, and this is what, for the last few months, I have been earnestly seeking.In my pursuit I stumbled across a gem in F.B. Meyer's The Secret of Guidance. In the last chapter, appropriately called, "The Fulness of the Spirit," Meyer's talks about what it is like to be one who is filled with the Spirit.

Amongst the readers of these lines there may be many who are suffering from different forms of spiritual weakness, all of which are directly attributable to the lack of the Holy Spirit. Not that they are completely destitute of Him, for if they were, they would not be Christians at all; but that, being within them, He is present only as an attenuated thread, a silver streak, a shallow brook. Why should we be content with this? The Pentecostal fulness, the enduement of power, the baptism of fire, are all within our reach. Let us be inspired with a holy ambition to get all that our God is willing to bestow.

The phrase, "He is present only as an attenuated thread," struck my heart. It is a description that I think rings true for me, and countless other Christians alive today. I had to look up "attenuate;" it means, "to reduce the force of." So something that is attenuated is unnaturally small or thin. An attenuated thread is like the thread in a garment that needs the attention of the tailor. It is supposed to have strength to it, and thereby give confidence to the wearer, but it does not.For many people the Spirit is like the thread that holds the fabric of their lives together.  Because he is present, they are saved; he is holding them together, thanks be to God. Then I remembered that it was said of Jesus that his robe was, "woven in one piece from the top to the bottom" (John 19:23 Phillips Translation). Follow along. I imagined that this is what it is like to be altogether filled with the Spirit. Instead of just being held together at the seams, you are filled and covered. Your life is immersed (baptized) in the Spirit.This is what is promised by the Father throughout Scripture, so it's what I'm seeking after.I've been seeking after God in many ways. I've been asking the Lord to purify my desires, so that I am wanting to glorify Christ and Christ alone. I've also learned to ask in faith, because "the one who promised is faithful." The promise doesn't rest on me trying hard or straining, the Spirit is God's to give, all we have to do is ask in faith (Luke 11:13; James 1:6) and receive. I've also learned to continue following Jesus in his overall pattern of life while I await the Spirit's filling. This means I continue doing what is wise and good for any disciple of Jesus to do.In the Acts of the Apostles, while waiting for the promise of the Father, Jesus' disciples weren't passive while they waited. Instead they devoted themselves to prayer, the study of scripture, and the work God set before them (Acts 1:4; 8; 14-26). They were preparing themselves in faith for what Jesus promised them. This is what one does when they are confident that someone said they would do what they would do. They prepare themselves to receive it. And when the Spirit filled them... well the rest is history.I'm not out to make history, but I believe it is my right, made possible by Jesus Christ, to draw near to God. And the promise is that He will draw near to me (James 4:8). This is the witness of Scripture. I would know it to be true by experience.